Daily Funnies.. what day did this happen??

DAMN! what appalls the fiery, bloody hell out of me is when I wake up in the middle of the night to wander to the 'little room' and I walk like my gramma who's been dead for over 15 years. Like some of the old geezers who wander these hallowed swfl halls, streets, market places, etc: head thrust forward, shoulders hunched and feet shuffling.  Since I never walked like this 20 years ago, and hardly ever have sleep overs w someone of the opposite sex because of this new and unfortunate way to get around, I want a mulligan.. a do-over.. I want to know WHAT effing day this happened? (this and the bat wings under my arms.) When I have someone of the opposite sex over, or my daughter.. so I don't freak them out by the hobbling, I straighten up and 'model walk' across the hall from my bedroom, exercise my right to shut the bathroom door and inwardly groan b/c that lie of omission of my walking and saying, "Ow, Ow, Ow" is not what I'll allow anyone else, but me to hear. Thus not embarrassing either of us.  At this point in my life, being closer to 100 years old than I was, said 20 years ago, I need to remind MYSELF that FOR myself, I NEED to 'hop' out of bed and 'model walk' to the bathroom, and shut the moaning the hell up and portray myself TO myself that, by all that is holy in the universe and In MY universe, that I can whip this 'old shit' in the butt..   They (whom so ever this 'they' is) were right when they said, 'gettin old ain't for the faint of heart.' damn them all.