The Bikini Wax or, When age overthrows Wisdom..

The Bikini Wax or, When age overthrows Wisdom..

You know when you get older and have a desire for that one last sprint into youth? Well, I had it today and decided I wanted to try a bikini wax. A great good friend of mine, Bev, is a professional esthetician and very good at her job, I must say. She does waxing, permanent makeup, facials and all sorts of cool things that people line up all day to get her to do to them. (**Her contact info available below )

Another of my great lady friends, Linda (also known as the owner of the finally finished backyard pool, discussed as Strousness Monster and the Ceement Pond) came over and we had a waxing party.. NEVER to be confused with doing the floors or wood furniture, this did not entail any energy or effort on OUR part, but we wore poor Bev out with clearing the acreage, weed whacking, or however you want to describe it. What was an effort for her with me is that I have some pretty hairy genes.

My daughter who is a beautiful girl of 24 who would lean against the door of the bathroom and her grimace would get more and more pronounced as she watched my morning ablutions. After using my comic timing for a perfect period of time, I’d then, with an evil grin say, “Guess what, at the age of 40, your coach will turn back into a pumpkin and we’ll look like twins. Heh. Heh. Heh. POUFFE!! No more gorgeous little tiny hard body.. you’ll not only grow a full beard, but you WILL become Sasquatchette and have thighs and saddle bags that would have made the Lone Ranger proud.. and maybe more Chins than a Chinese phone book..” Then I would give the evil mad scientist laugh: BBouuaaaahhhhaaahhhaaahhhhaa.. and rub my palms together in delight. I’m really surprised that my baby girl never just gave up, collapse into a corner and remained there to this day. But she didn’t, and I digress…

Here I am, lying on my bed, she’s putting warm wax on places I can’t even see and haven’t seen for like .. EVER. And then Bev’s telling me, ‘this is going to hurt a bit.’ I was thinking to myself, ‘Danger is no stranger to ME, cha-cha-cha’ and then thinking.. ‘hey, this ain’t so bad after all.’ Then RRRRIiiipppp!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!!!!!! EEEYOOOWWWZZERZZ!! Hey, wait.. there’s not the pain that I anticipated, like when we went to see ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ and he had his chest waxed. He yelled for a LONG time! And watching that made my eyes water.. Hmm.. this isn’t bad at all.. not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. And then my sleeping skin woke up and said, “What the flaming heck was THAT???? I am NOT amused!” And then it all went back to sleep again until the next patch of skin was rudely awakened and then passed out with a sigh of relief.

Realizing that all three of us ladies have had children, this is NOTHING! Zip.. a mere finger-snap in time.. And Linda got her arm pits done too.. ok, I couldn’t even look at that one. Yikes.. But, she just kept right on talking like we were at The Rose Tea Room and were nibbling on crumpets .. whatever they are.. or, to put it in a perspective I can actually understand, at Arby’s tossing back those cream cheese-filled jalapenos and some Ruben sandwiches chasing it all with a jamoca shake. Sheesh, pits of steel, Linda .. my hero!

Then Bev was telling me that I was going to be walking like a cowboy that had been herding recalcitrant calves all over the state of Wyoming. Hhmm.. let me get THAT picture in my mind for a minute.. and time will tell.. morning and having to actually wear clothes will come soon.. best head to bed, relax and figure out what I can wear to work tomorrow that won’t actually touch any of my personal person.. I’ll get back with you on how it goes from here.. and if I like it.. look out.. I’ll be back! Get back in line there, little doggie!

**To contact Bev Morris, her website is BEAUTEMARX so click on the underlined word!

Copyright 2007. Bekki Shanklin, from her Thinking All The Time series